I sometimes feel the need to point out people’s grammar errors due to my OCD with perfection, patterns, and symmetry. When there’s an error in the middle of a sentence it stands out like a sore thumb and pains me if I don’t get rid of it in some way. It’ll be on my mind all day and I’ll have trouble concentrating on any other tasks unless I go back and point out the error to the writer.

I once even emailed the publisher about a tiny error in a light novel, because it kept bugging me the entire time and I couldn’t get any further into the story cuz that was all I could think about.

I might sound like an “elitist” and “know-it-all” but I’m really just saying it so I can make myself feel better. You might not understand, but please keep in mind that I’m not trying to be an arrogant asshole and hurt your feelings on purpose. I just can’t help it.

As the OP (different name, same person) I’d like to make a few points.

First, this post is years old and very crabby. I’d like to direct you to this one, which is also very old, but less crabby and more thorough (also better-written).

Second, I have OCD as well, and it manifests in similar ways. I am obsessed w/rhythm and syntax, instantly notice typographical errors, and have a metric fuckton of opinions re: people’s language use. Poorly-constructed sentences stick in my head for literally years. (No, seriously. Years.) But there’s a difference between being bothered by certain usages vs. 1) judging people for how they communicate; 2) offering unsolicited advice on language; and/or 3) perpetuating the idea that some kind of “perfect” language exists.

I’m not trying to suggest that you’re a terrible person for correcting people’s language, but I do take issue w/you requesting sympathy for your issues while showing no real consideration for the people who might object to being corrected.Those people, btw, include some w/learning disabilities, some who use marginalized dialects, and non-native speakers.

Language is hard, everyone messes up, and “perfection” in language doesn’t exist. How we define “perfect” language is largely the product of racism, xenophobia, classism, and sexism, and correcting people’s usage isn’t this cool thing that makes you feel better and leaves everyone else unharmed.

I used to correct people’s usage fairly often. I don’t really think it was part of my OCD (that is, the urge to correct people wasn’t part of my OCD; the sensitivity to language use definitely was), so different situation, but even so: What helped me was studying linguistics in college and developing a different view of language and how people use it. I’m still obsessed w/syntax, rhythm, etc., but in a much more analytical and less harmful way.

Anyway, I’ll shut up. The tag for the better language post includes a lot of my rambling abt these issues, just in case you for some reason haven’t had your fill.

I know I might have hurt others by pointing out their errors. Indeed, they may have learning disabilities, or are non-native speakers. They have their issues, and I have mine. Everyone do what they can to deal with their issues. It might make them feel better if I don’t point out their errors, but I’ll be the one suffering.

Some people are selfless and would give their own comfort for others, but I’m not that kind of person. I admit I’m selfish and I value my own comfort above anyone else’s. I don’t want to suffer from my OCD so an internet stranger, who might not even be one of the conditions you listed, can escape from the horror that is having their grammar errors pointed out.

Indeed perfect language doesn’t exist since English is always changing, evolving, adapting. Correcting others doesn’t make you sound cool; it makes you seem like an asshole, a self-righteous goody-two-shoe. I hate those type of people who act like they know everything (except Hermione), but sometimes I can’t help but be that person. There might be ways to fix my OCD, Idk, but at the moment, being the bad guy is all I can do so I don’t have to suffer.

“I don’t want to suffer from my OCD so an internet stranger, who might not even be one of the conditions you listed, can escape from the horror that is having their grammar errors pointed out.“

Yeah, this is what I take objection to: the idea that your issues are so severe that your every impulse must be indulged, but everyone else can just cope.

Look, your situation is a sympathetic one. But while I’m sympathetic to struggles, I’m not at all sympathetic to the casual dismissal of other people’s struggles or the harm one’s behavior could cause. Honestly, this sentence:

“It might make them feel better if I don’t point out their errors, but I’ll be the one suffering.“

is…I’ll be generous and say “self-involved.” And this “yeah I’m an asshole” defense mechanism really doesn’t help anyone.

Again, I don’t think you’re evil and terrible, but *trying* to avoid embarrassing people via unnecessary (and, i guarantee, occasionally incorrect) corrections is generally a good call. Especially since the negative result isn’t just individual embarrassment, but the perpetuation of the idea that language has to be used in a specific, narrow, and very boring way–which is, regardless of your intent, all tied up w/racism, classism, xenophobia, etc. I know you’ve read the other post I linked, so I won’t go into that, but language policing isn’t just an annoyance. Doesn’t make you a “bad guy” either (and I wish I’d written the OP in a less confrontational way), but it’s still a problem.

But hey, I accidentally ate a 7yo student’s Teddy Grahams the other day, so I’m not perfect.

You previously said that judging people based on their language, spelling/grammar is tied to these things which I won’t list out, but the simple act of correcting someone’s grammar isn’t. “The idea that language has to be used in a specific, narrow, and very boring way” doesn’t apply when you know the “specific way” the writer is aiming for and the grammar error is in their way. Like a teacher pointing out a student’s grammar error. Are you judgemental on that too? They want their student to write in a “specific, narrow, and very boring way” and when they don’t, they get their mistakes pointed out and points docked off.

So I stand my point. Simply pointing out someone’s grammar errors doesn’t tie it to racism…etc. Judging someone based on it does. You’re going too far with this.

And, like I said, I’m a self-involved, selfish asshole. No need to be generous about it. Just accept that since I already did. All humans are selfish in one way or another. That’s what makes us human. Why should human be selfless and sympathetic of others in order to be liked and accepted? There’s nothing wrong with putting your own comfort before others. After all, You’re living your life, not someone else’s. Life is very short, and death is around every corner. You should do your best to make your life a happy and satisfying one, and lessen suffering and any negative feelings.

The “casual dismissal” you stated is uncasually decided after weighing the choices. Should I risk having the mistake at the front of my mind the entire day, not able to do anything without having it pound against my brain? And possibly hinder my work, or any major, important event that’ll happen that day? Or should I point out the mistakes so I can feel better and not mess up on my job and have major consequences, and risk that writer’s (stranger’s) feeling getting hurt? In the end, the consequences of my fucking up my job is a lot heavier than hurting someone’s feelings. Besides, if you’re gonna cry over someone’s telling you “here you should use the past tense of ‘is’” then you have some issues.

Just gonna say a couple things.

The idea that language has to be used in a specific, narrow, and very boring way”doesn’t apply when you know the “specific way” the writer is aiming for and the grammar error is in their way. Like a teacher pointing out a student’s grammar error. Are you judgemental on that too? They want their student to write in a “specific, narrow, and very boring way” and when they don’t, they get their mistakes pointed out and points docked off.

Actually, as indicated by the last line of my last response, I’m an educator (w/an English degree), and–lucky you!–I’ve written abt how I bring a descriptivist approach to my teaching and tutoring in two posts.

All humans are selfish in one way or another. That’s what makes us human. 

No, what makes us human is our struggle to not be selfish assholes, but nice try.

The rest of your (frankly incoherent) response has been addressed, in various ways and pieces, in the tag for my more thorough language post, so feel free to peruse that if you care, but I’ve tried to be cordial and have had more than my fill of dime store fauxlosophy and defensive, bratty attitude.

Have a good night.